Born in the wrong era? No. There is no wrong era.

first climbing carnival today!
well, not exactly first, if u consider climb x all those years ago...
(but of course, that one nothing to say la. i cickened out that one.)
haiz, talking about all those years,
it makes me wonder where all those years went sometimes.
what might have been had i pursued climbing at a young age.
all that (i believe) potential...
but alas, today's tfc lesson say what?
God is sovereign, so we must praise, submit, trust, and humble ourselves.
so i guess "all those years" prolly just went to something more important than what my feeble mind can fathom at the moment.
which is definitely important.
SO!
anyway,
after today,
here are my thoughts.

hope i can make some good friends through climbing.
i need more endurance. i'm too weak. (i.e. i need more enduro.)
i need to handle the climbing high better. it badly affects my focus.
seriously starting to suspect that my finger won't heal if i don't rest it = lay off climbing!? :( (lay off all finger strength too...sianz)
i need to train my core and finger strength. need more conditioning!
my eyesight is failing me i think. better get it checked.
my shoes need to be replaced eventually..and soon.
and there are a lot of pretty girls in climbing. haha!

yay. thurs can climb i hope!

it's 5 and i'm still not asleep.
pfft.
was watching ippo just now. heh, addictive stuff. i would've continued watching if i hadn't pryed myself away from the website to do other things.
sunday is climb on...
suppose to go early, but got church leh. and i got duty as well as tfc..
doh, i think it's ok to go otot la, hope the rest are ok with it.
then sun still got driving and tues also got driving.
i thinking if can change the tues driving so that i can go for pt..
haiz.
schedule keep clashing with climbing!
and i try to plan such that no clashes! bah. what rubbish.
i put driving on tues BECAUSE THAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE THE FREE DAY.
i join thurs cg BECAUSE THAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE THE FREE DAY.
monday pt. wed free climb. sat free climg. IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THAT.
now it's tues pt,thurs climber's lab. WHAT NONSENSE!?
and my left fourth finger hurt for very long le...hope nothing is wrong. :/
dunno how i injured it and dunno how to heal it and dun even know what's wrong with it in the first place.
i hate this kind of little internal pains that i get all the time that i think a regular gp can't really diagnose properly without the right equipment.
like when my big toe hurt for like, forever, or when my right knee and ankle 'kaks', or when i feel that sharp pain in the sole of my right foor every now and then, or like now with this fourth finger business and all. very irritating.
still got an essay due next week.
time to bathe and sleep silly boy.

while showering, this hit me
it's not
"who it would be nice to live with"
but rather
"who it would be impossible to live without"

hmm.
has anybody mentioned this before?
i think prolly have.
but this idea came to me on my own
so by emerson's thinking, it is my own, even if someone else has mentioned it before.
nyanya

please don't fight.
it makes me sad when i see vous fight.
why are vous still fighting?
but then i think,
maybe it's because it's been so long,
that's why vous still fight.
vous fight because vous want to keep fighting for as long as possible.
the fighting is unpleasant.
but the non-fighting is pleasant.
vous would fight,
if it meant that vous could continue not fighting for just that little bit longer.
at lease vous have vous to fight.
it would be nice if i could fight too.
but i cannot.

they have emerged...everywhere they are emerging

games to get.

lat guardian
ico/ shadow of the colossus collection
dead space 2
arkham city
metal gear rising
portal 2
orange box
ratchet and clank all4one

gonna be a while before these come out though...

new pair of ear phones
new pair of climbing shoes
new pair of casual shoes
a climbing harness
an ez-link sticker
a pair of sole slippers or birkies
a cheapo digital casio watch($18 kind)
the flat pack floor chair cushion thing
a cool snazzy classy collection of emerson
a munchkins set
a pair of sunglasses
a cool hat
more nerf goodness
another toy guitar
new aircon

i hate that feeling when i've been in an air-con room for like forever then i come out and the air outside is humid and then my fingers start to get sticky.
wah bueh tahan.
when they stick together. ugh i hate that. only time when i wish i had chalk.
only i'm not sure if it will help.
but i suspect it will.
next time i will chalk my hands le. haha.

just came back from cg meeting.
and today,

i met...THE ONE.

his name: leonard ethan mah.

he study: ...some engine thing la.

his ns life: 3 guards

his struggle: studies

his solution: study more

so, he seems like a normal uni student just struggling to cope right?
right.

but obviously that's not all la.
he spends most of his time trying to understand his notes(i.e. studying)
but he not staying hall.
so how?

HE SLEEPS IN CANTEEN A.
ON THE SOFA.
STAY FOR 3 WEEKS LE.

MY GOODNESS HE IS MY HERO.

he pay for 3 lockers.
lockers hold his books, his sleeping bag, his clothes, his PILLOW.
he bathe at the sports recreation centre.
he arrange 3 sofas
(specifically "the dark blue one, not the grey one, grey one not comfortable" he adds)
and that's his bed.
in the morning the cleaner aunty wakes him up for skool.

perfect!

one day i'm gonna do that too.
just watch.

am i shy?
yes i am.

i talk alot,
yes.
but i talk about myself alot?
no.
well, it's true that i don't really have issues with talking to strangers,
but
i hesitate because
while i can talk,
others may not feel comfortable.
so i'd hate to be friendly with others when they don't like it.

that's why i hesitate initiating conversations sometimes.

maybe i am not that shy. haha

as this sat's shopping trip draws nearer my time to decide just gets less and less
gah!
i had decided on the velcro a long time ago.
and then the thought that the verde is more snug creeps in.
so basically my brain is working like this now:

v10's are fine but old

anasazi vcs looks the most attractive but comfort wise questionable

anasazi verde seems the most comfortable but the design doesn't appeal to me.

so basically, I CAN'T DECIDE.

and then there's the dragon and the new v10's and the concept and conflict and the speedster and the talon and I CANNOT DECIDE.

howwwwwwwwwwwwww?

i hate to make these kind of decisions....

actually if the concept available no question le.
chi.
dilemma of my life

am i proud?
yes i am.
clive says that if u're really humble u wun even think that u're humble, u'd be too busy thinking of others to realise u're humble.
so i guess humble i am not.
am i arrogant then? maybe some ppl would think so?
i would think that i am more aware than arrogant ba.
we live in a society and culture where it is deemed proud to exalt yourself.
do i exalt myself?
maybe.
but if i do, i would like to be doing ot out of honesty is all.

am i the best?
no.
do i think i am the best?
no.
am i better than others?
yes.
do i think i am better than others?
yes.
do i know i am better than others?
yes.
will i admit i am better than others?
yes.
will i state that i am better than others?
yes.
am i being honest?
yes.

but i also recognise that if i excel, it is not simply of my own talent or effort.
that if i excel, then more is demanded of me.
and if i excel, then i should not look down on others but should encourage them.
humbly.