Born in the wrong era? No. There is no wrong era.

some chemical reaction are very exothermic. can be very hot or very violent.
like thermite this kind or when u throw caesium in water.

and then some chemicals just don't react. don't even mix.
immiscible liquids. think oil and water.

and then there are the suspensions like....i dunno throwing sand into water?
hah. this kind u leave it to settle it will settle. mix it up abit and it looks like it's mixed, but actually no la. does ribena count as a suspension?
the constituents may be well mixed but no chemical change has occurred?

and then there are the nice happy chemical reactions.
u mix baking soda with vinegar and u get something new.
the final product may not taste so nice, but final product it is and the constituents are not the same anymore. and we can hope that something good has resulted from the whole interaction.

obviously, the relationship between different chemicals will produce different results and one must definitely factor in the conditions of the interactions as well. think catalysts and atmosphere and reaction energy.

and then also consider that under different scenarios, different reactions are desired.

and so at the end of the day, it is about identifying the chemicals, knowing the interactions and producing the results as is required by the relevant scenarios.

straightforward in theory?
yesh.
simple in practice?
no.

is life not simple?
we don't need so many things right?
today i was thinking about a certain kind of lifestyle and i wonder how feasible it is.

imagine living in a flat
don't need so many rooms
kitchen and bedroom enough
the kitchen will have a fridge, washing machine, stove and microwave.
actually washing machine optional, pail will do.
toilet don't need heater.
bedroom will have a bed and a fan and a table and chair to do work.
table and chair maybe optional,
how about short table and sit on the floor?
and then a lap top, no need tv.
for other possesions, clothes.
clothing is minimal, only what is needed.
the house no need air con also.
at night when sleeping, just open the window and on fan, very comfortable lo
then when using the toilet, only on light when pang sai.
bathing and peeing no need light.
for recreation, is all out of the house, so don't need things in the house.
can go library or play sports or go ntu and watch dvd. hahaha.
maybe the only other possession is books.
hmm. how much money will be saved living like this eh?
and how much hassle also...

closure,
next game to get. haha
but after exams ba.
saw on ign and it looks like limbo, which is a good thing.
going to bathe now

sunday was a day when i saw two emo dudes
poor things.
had lots of laughs though. sometimes at their expense.
i hope i never have to put anybody through such an experience.
haha.
think too highly of myself le.
don't think i am capable of causing such trauma in ppl ba.

the one thing that upsets me terribly
is people bailing on me.
you can dislike me and beat me and scold me and curse me
but all that makes me less upset than having someone bail on me.
that is just URGH.
bail as in to be absent when i had reason to expect u to be present.
pangseh or whatever.
and when it happens repeatedly...
that hurts the most ba.

for a brief period of time, the army seemed to be mounting a heavy offensive.
at that point i was not really sure what i should do.
at first i faced the battle. i pitted guile against guile.
and then i decided to stay my blade.
better to put off the conflict, minimise the blood shed.
and for a period it seemed the army backed off,
silence ensued for a short span.
could it be that the army was merely focussing its efforts on other fronts?
that it was distracted for a time?
now it may seem that the army, having concluded its other battles,
is ready to renew its efforts on this particular front.
how strong the intent, i am not sure.
is this a heavily invested campaign? or simply an expedition to discover new grounds?
i cannot be certain.
scouts and intel shall find that out in due time, i hope.
in the midst of this, i shall bide my time.
i shall lay dormant.
i shall not be hasty, shall consider my moves carefully
and i can only hope, at the end of the day,
that victory is attained with as little bloodshed as possible.
may God have mercy on my soul

i have a 2000-2500 word essay due today and a 3000 word essay due friday.
so today i woke up at 5 to churn out 1500 words.
and then i went back to sleep. woke up again at 8.45.
rushed to school for group presentation at 9.30 class.
was late so only reached 9.40 lidat.
gave a presentaion (not very well done for me imo)
and then it's back to my essay.
sat in the comp lab from 1.30 til 7.30 doing the essay.
my brother took my wallet so i had no money = no food for whole day.
after finishing (sorta) essay, the teacher room locked so cant hand in.
thanks ah.
i tmr go early and hand in ba.
went to watch freud's last session.
late again. missed front bit, but caught the rest of the show.
not bad imo.
can see the quotes here and there and i'm inspired to go back and read some lewis.
...after my exams of course.
just 1 more 3000 word essay, movie quiz and jap oral.
and then it's exams!
(which are easy peasy lemon squeezey japanesey)
may the odds be ever in my favour

the shepherds said to each other, "our job is simple, we just need to gather together to gather together the sheep that are all around."

a guy likes a girl and the girl likes the guy back.
so they decide to get together.
however, things don't seem to work out.
so the girl tells the guy that it is over.
they had spent a few years together, and for the guy, he even thought he would marry the girl eventually.
unfortuantely, all that came crashing down.
the guy became quite bitter because of this.
he avoids the girl and things that remind him of the time they spent together.
he also hopes that he can forget her and move on.

to him, the years that they had spend together have become a waste.
he wants to have nothing to do with her and is adamant that they will never be together again.

to me, this is sad.
it makes me sad.

things did not work out. but to call the years spent together a waste...
it is precisely in thinking THAT that it really becomes a waste.
the problem, i feel, is that God and His purposes have largely been excluded from the entire episode.

MAYBE
God was using those years to mould the characters of the couple?
MAYBE
God was using the breakup to teach an important reality to the parties involved?
MAYBE
they will still be together in future? to me it is just presumptious and stubborn to insist that they will never be together ever again.

in dismissing all that had happened and in calling it a waste. that's just tragic.
that means the pain was all for nothing!

MAYBE
what God had intended to teach needed nothing less impactful than a painful break up to drive the point home?

consider that.

the times spent together were real.
the joys were real. as were the hurts.
the memories should be cherished.
not discarded.

granted, holding on to an unreasonable hope is not healthy nor wise.
and keeping the memories close to the heart may border precariously on clinging on to a dream that may never be.
but i don't think that automatically means one should severe a part of himself.

that's too easy.
running away is too easy.

grit your teeth through the pain,
face it,
look to God,
and come out holier.

because holiness is more important than happiness.