Born in the wrong era? No. There is no wrong era.

i remember it to be when we were still living at 19A harvey avenue(of course, i've mentioned before that my memories are fuzzy, so maybe i got it wrong again...but anyway...).
it was an occasion when i received a gift, so maybe it was my birthday or maybe it was christmas, but i'm more inclined to think that it was my birthday.
what happened was that i was really looking forward to recieve cool gifts(weren't we all?)
and then what did i get from uncle lennox?
a ZOIDS wind up t-rex toy with purple shiny armour about the height of my current handwidth.
and knowing that it's from uncle lennox, it was bound to be not only cool, but ORIGINAL.
of course with the level of intelligence that i had then, i totally missed the point of it's value and made a fuss about how it was not to my fancy, and that i did not want it.
I WAS SO DUMB AND INSENSITIVE.
i cannot believe i was like that then. i honestly would be pissed off with myself if i saw the 5-year old me.
but what i remember was that uncle lennox graciously tried to persuade me to comprehend it's cool features(something i was not capable of then)...and he did it with a smile the whole time...
in the end i still rejected it, and can't remember if i got anything in it's place.
if i remember correctly, my dad had a word with me after they all left. and my folks weren't the least bit happy with me when i passed ungrateful comments on receiving the gift.
i am sooooo stupid.

Dear Uncle Lennox,
i'm sorry for being a spoilt brat.

interestingly, that's one of the isolated things of my childhood that can remember(though ii'd question it's accuracy and reality), must've left some sort of an impression on me. maybe it was from then on that i started treasuring the things that people gave me more, thuogh i can't really be sure...

and just for the record, it was through uncle lennox that i came to know about MGS.
it was at his condo one day when the rest of the family was there that i first tried it out.
thanks for letting me play.

You Are Barney

You could have been an intellectual leader... Instead, your whole life is an homage to beer You will be remembered for: your beautiful singing voice and your burps Your life philosophy: "There's nothing like beer to give you that inflated sense of self-esteem."

actually i am not really a karang guni(obviously), but i do not like throwing things away.
i believe that everything can be used for something. whether to fulfil it's original purpose or as an improvisation for something else, i believe everything (or most things at least) can be used gainfuly for SOMETHING.
this is probably due to the fact that when i was younger i was fascinated with shows that featured gadgets, whether real or fake, cartoon or live-action. they just fascinated me.
especially those james bond-esque seems-like-something-but-is-actually-something-else kind of gizmos. i always like the smart, speccy, inventor guy in shows...donatello in teenage mutant ninja turtles, billy in power rangers are the few that i can clearly remeber....
so in this, i've come to think of ways to improvise most things i come into contact with, occupying myself with them in one way or another, causing me to see value in things
this makes me unwilling to throw them away when they can still be used for so much more...
also i was taught when i was very young about sentiment(was my birthday i think, i ought to write about this sometime...keyword:zoids).
i began attaching things with much sentimental value, understanding that whiie a gift may not really appeal to me, when someone BOTHERED to buy it, it meant that there was affection in buying the gift, and someone actually cared enough to buy me something. however true this is, from my point of view, it meant much to me..that i bothered to someone.
so i really dislike showing disrespect for someone's gifts to me, i will try to keep things that people tried hard to get for me, or that people thought hard about when getting for me, throwing even less things away, taking up even more storage space over the years...
lastly, i saw a show a long time ago about how things gained in value after they were kept for a long time...was from then on that i decided that i will keep all my toys so that when i am 70 i can sell them at exuberant prices and really gain from keeping all the treasure that nobody else bothered to.
that accounts for most of my toys over the years still being around, and also the recent ones that i bought without opening....
this is why i am not a discarder

just snapped back to reality after spending hours reading up on the marvel and dc universe(note the word UNIVERSE)...
the thing is huge man.
this is connected to that and this has a parallel universe and thisis different in that and...the list goes on....
many people think that prof X is the strongest mutant.
they are SOOOOO so so SO WRONG.
i used to think that he was the strongest when he became onslaught(who btw has a very complcating story in itself).
but he isn't. he's probably at HIS strongest, but not THE strongest.
apparently, mutant-wise, (this is prolly another hugely debatable topic among the junkies, among whom i am not..)it's either psi-lord(a.k.a. franklin richards), hyperstorm(a.k.a. jonathan richards), x-man(a.k.a. nathaniel grey) or phoenix(yes...jean grey).
these are at least the people that i think to be the top contenders.
and interestingly, they all spawn from the same blood-line:
franklin richards is the son of invisble woman and mr fantastic.
nate grey is the artificially produced son of scott summers(a.k.a. cyclops) and jean grey.
jonathan summers is the son of franklin richards and cyclop's and jean's other child, rachel summers...
all too confusing...can get lost in that whole universe...
other interesting characters i read up on were superman, doomsday, darkseid, apocalypse, cable, the justice league and..the list goes on...

my body clock is completely messed up.
and i openly acknowledge FIFA's contribution to the state that i am in.
saw the portugal-holland match.
everyone is calling it an ugly match for the many cards dished out.
and that it is in that aspect, immature and unsportsman-like.
however, it was also in that match that i saw a beautiful side of the game that i rarely get footage of.
there are 2 things that i particularly enjoy about watching futebol.
one is obviously the mesmerising build-up play leading to a dazzling goal.
whether it's a skillfull striker who weaves pass defenders, a deadly playmaker who picks out the killer pass, or just a team of ordinary players with telepathic connection and clockwork coordination.
they are all a joy to watch.
however the other thing i like to see in soccer is frindships. whether forming or existing, they are all also a joy to watch.
to see players exchanging shirt is one such expression of friendship.
what was it in that match that was so cool to see?
deco got sent off.
bronkhorst got sent off.
then they sat together at the stairs and started talking and discussing the match as good pals at barca would normally do.
i guess i enjoy witnessing players interact normally outside of a match, reminding me that they are as human as anyone of us...
viva futebol!!

the following is what has kept me going for the past 48 hours:
1 bowl of fishball noodles
1 bowl of prawn noodles
1 packet of roller coaster bbq flavour
1 handful of green grapes
1 God who is infinitely gracious.
our bodies are fearfully and wonderfully made.
more wonderful and revered is the one who made and sustains it.

ailing mentioned that everyone is trying to find significance, security and satisfaction in life, and explained that this can only be truly and fully fulfilled in God alone.
she also mentioned that from romans chp 1, man's entire being(meaning their mind, heart and will) has been entirely corrupted, referring to the sinful desires, shameful lusts and depraved minds that God has given man over to.
before, i've thought of something similar before, regarding our purpose in life, however this is just a way i have organised my thoughts, and i am not saying that this is in anyway a flawless explanation. if ever there are inconsistencies or discrepencies, please let me know.
some people say the meaning of life is to have a relationship with God, some say that it is to glorify God, and finally some say that it is to trust and obey God. i think that they are all connected in this relationship:
all creation(that obviously includes man) exists to glorify God, and for man, that particularly means to trust and obey Him(doing which will naturally bring glory to Him), and a living relationship with God will be our motivation to do so.
so therefore,
Glorifying God is WHAT life is for
(Significance?)/(Mind?)
Tursting and Obeying God is HOW life is to be lived
(Satisfaction?)/(Will?)
Having a Relationship with God is WHY this life is worth living.
(Security?)/(Heart?)
of course, much more ought to be said and this is very rough, but i really need to sleep now...so, another time...

singapore is a hot country.
so therefore, it makes sense for guys to wear shorts. i mean, why wear long pants when the weather is so hot? your legs will be steaming.
so since the weather is so warm, does that mean that it's ok for girls to wear spaghetti stripes?
firstly...what on earth are spaghetti stripes? can eat anot?
i don't know, but from what i've heard, they sound quite indecent, or are regarded by many to be quite indecent, or inappropriate at least.
ok fine. let me say it again
the weather is hot, you wear shorts.
not underwear.
to compare spaghetti stripes with shorts is not very reasonable because shorts are still within the boundaries of decency, at least from what i understand of other's opinion.
so therefore, unless the situation requires of it, shorts will still win pants in the area of preference.

scanlations.
sigh, the contoversial issue...
anyone who has spoken to me personally about this will know that i am not very fond of scanlations.
meaning, i do not particularly approve of going to the net and downloading the latest chapter of manga in english and reading it without paying a cent.
why?
cos it's in english. or maybe german, or spanish, or some other western language...but the author never had that in mind, he wrote in japanese, thought in japanese. by scanlating, other people would interpret what he meant at times and then translate it into their language.
while i approve of the fact that people are spreading the series, i still feel that the original language is best, with languages closer to it as better alternatives. like chinese.
of course i am not out of this because i cannot read japanese, so i'll have to settle for chinese, and really i am basically reading printed scanlations, but i think i am at least reading something legalised.
maybe i am jealous that people are getting what took me so hard to get by saving and waiting for publishing and ending up lagging alot anyhow. maybe i am. but i believe in the tradition of comics and books, manga was meant to be held in your hands, to be brought around, not to be read off a mere computer screen. depending on electricity to read it...when comics are available to you, buy them, that's why they are published. buy and share them. say no to scanlations.
what's worse?
when people read scanlations and know the latest progress of the story, they go about and tell others who read the slower published manga about what has happened, spoiling the story, often against the will of the victim.
terrible.
if u want to know, and can't wait, go ahead and read scanlations at the cost of your honour, but don't go and spoil it for the rest of us who wish to follow the natural course of things, and feel the joy of experiencing progressive revelation.
ummm, my thoughts are a bit disjointed, maybe i lazy to think to transfer to screen cos of the bad experiencs i had in the past...
but anyway, this wraps up the third and final part of this series on manga ethics.
thanks to anybody to bothered to read these articles.

Ruckus Bouldering Comp

BRING THE RUCKUS!!!

i like to dig my nose and dig my ear.
my ear more so because i get a greater sense of satisfaction when i find a big chunk of dirt. but then, the infection happened last year around september or before that, and it hasn't fully recovered. so every now and then my left ear gets really clogged up and when i clear it, i find what i have come to call muk. a mixture of blood, pus, mucus and ear wax. it smells funny and is mushy....very gross in my opinion.
then i also had the habit of peeling my lips when i aws in primary school, and i stll do it here and there.
the one thing i do not do is to bite my nails.
i don't eat my hands.

oh precious is the flow~
that makes me white as snow~~
no other fount i know~
nothing but the blood of Jesus!

today went to climb with shumin. found out some funny stuff. glad he's willing to go climb with me. i'd better remained focussed.
funny stuff like elpun tan has an ADMIRER in tpjc...lol what a laugh man, too bad he says he's not interestsed tho...less things to poke fun about.
i also realized that i am increasingly losing touch with all the sports that i enjoy(not that i had much of a touch to begin with, but still...man...), not forgeting what happened yesterday...that was bad..but this isn't the point.
the point is there was this other cool discovery...
the only other peer in syfc that actually enjoys climbing,
always smiley from what i've seen so far,
a friend or at least an aqquaintance of caderam(both AHS, means 2 years my senior)
also, same primary school as caderam! means st hildas! means same primay school as me!(what's more, even remember caderam's mom, though, that doesn't come as much of a surprise...)
no wonder like quite familiar lidat...
see if can find out more in future..heh

my friend.
one of the biggest influences in my life.
chatted with him about some personal stuff, things we haven't talked about for quite a while.

we first met in a ping pong competition when we were p6. i never played him, we weren't even in the same group, but i remembered his face any how when we met again. it's gotta be the face...

when we met each other again in sec 1, we never knew that we'd eventually remain as classmates until we graduated from that oh so incredibly good secondary school...
but well, one fine day during the june hols of my sec 2 year, he asked me to join him for a soccer clinic. i said ok. that was probably the first time i came into contact with syfc.
i say "probably" because my memories are a bit fuzzy around that period in my life. i remember what happened, but i just can't piece the events in chronological order.
so then eventually i'd be around him every other day in school and then every other yfc meeting we'd see each other again.
as a result, the amount of influence i got from him was tremendous. whether or not i had a similar effect on him, i do not know, and may never know, but at least i know that alot of him rubbed off onto me, contributing to what i am today.
those were probably the best years of my life thus far(but it's not just because of him, there were other things that significantly contributed as well)...we made paper bullets, played soccer, drew stickmen, spinned pens, discussed Bible, shared interests, talked jokes, trained ping pong, exchanged ideas, twoyed wiph engleehs...fun...
then
o's. jc. left yfc.
we continued to keep in touch. still played every now and then, but way less.
so when we talked recently, and i mean really talk, we shared quite abit...struggles, plans, latest happenings at yfc, why he left, issues and stuff...etc
we should do that more often man...
one of the reasons why i look forward to U
ahh university(at least what i think it's like)...regular climbing. real learning. chance to play again.
all i need to do now is just get past my promos first...

introvert. rusty called himself an introvert. i felt a sense of affinity when he said that. there's a difference between being introverted and being shy. i may be both. i don't reveal much about myself...i think, but then again in my opinion i don't know myself that well either. i would much rather be by myself and not mix with others. maybe that's the way to avoid getting hurt. by not making yourself vulnerable, you don't run the risk of getting hurt...but then you don't experience the joys of relationships either. i wonder if i have lost my trust in the world. maybe this also reveals distrust in God?

i hate tech

i hate the fact that after writing for hours on end about something i feel deeply about, an error can occur when i decide to publish it on this stupid blog, and what happens? i lose everything i wrote.
1 more reason why i am resistant to embracing technology

how often, i wonder, am i honestly interested in knowing a person?
not merely knowing about a person,( though sometimes i doubt if i even reach that) but actually knowing a person.
interested in being involved in his life, not because of anything else but love. the love of wanting to help that person because i can, to share with him the new life that you enjoy. the assurance you have in Christ.
ofetn i think i get to know people only because i am required to do so, or because it will be favourable for me in some way, or because i feel good doing so. it's so selfish. so unlike real love. so unlike a real relationship. a proper relationship.
i think i'm a loner. i'm content just being by myself, minding my own business in my own little world, apart from society. which really just does not help at all.
Mr Lewis has mentioned before that regardless of how we feel, we should act in love. because we know it is the right thing to do. that that is what it means to "put on Christ". to imitate Him, at least on the outside out of a desire to obey God.
(note:these are things i remember,pls forgive me and let me know if i have quoted him wrongly so i can make amendments)
do i make use of the opportunities i have to be part of another's life?
i think not.
i think i should.
i pray i can.
i need to start being real to people.

was chatting on msn with YZ just now.
he say he dun want to live any more.
then when he sign out i say dun go and kill himself.
he say he may or may not depending on how he straighten out his thoughts..
i call him but he no pick up phone.
hope i will still get to talk to him...
after life there is more.
death solves nothing.
and it is because there is life after death that we can make sense of life on earth now.
it is because we are eternal beings that we should worry about our relationship with God.
we can have an eternal relationsihp with this God who made us, who died for us, who revealed himself to us. all because he was so pleased to do so.
is not something to make light of...
treasure this life and treasure His death.
this cannot be all there is to existing...

2 things that happened.

i went to climb on tuesday night with shu min.
after we were done i saw that sharon, wan jun and winnie came down from the second floor(i wasn't sure for what then)
having no business with them, i left with shu min first and they said some stuff about my bathing habits, but that wasn't really very important or anything...
then we went to 7-11 to get some stuff to snack on before heading to the MRT station to head home.
there, we happened to bump into geraldine and winnie again, but i continued to talk to shu min.
i told minsen that i had skool today and wasn't sure if i could fit into XV.
he said that it was ok and that it will prolly be quite hard to fit in with my schedule.
but after shu min left, i asked the girls and they told me about the plan for today and i discovered that i could actually make it for the first half of the programme.
i think that it is quite cool that i managed to climb to bump into them to find out that i could make it to finally make it today. otherwise, i may not have gone for XV today.
cool.

next.
i arranged to meet the former AHS current TP jun xuan
for bball today. but halfway through the day i got struck with a real bad bout of runny nose(still have it now infact) but of course i insisted that i was fine to my dad and that i could still make it to play cos i did not want to miss this chance to meet up with him.
so i insisted on going.
my dad didn't look too happy with my decision and insisted that i should not exert myself.after much deliberation about how we should obey our parents..i decided to stay home.
then not too long later shyi oong called me saying that bball was cancelled cos not enough ppl...yet another act of providence!
if i had insisted on going, i would soon realise that nobody was there and that i had exerted myself, travelled, and upsetted my dad for nothing.
cool

i was taking a train and i saw this boy across me with his mom.
about half my height, prolly less than one third my age.
very cute.
got one tail of hair at the back of his head.
chubby chubby.
sit down guai guai while his mom talk on phone.
then.
it happened.
he occupied himself with one of my most curiously engaging habits of all time.
he put his index finger in his nose.
and so began his venture into that mysterious crevasse right smack on all out faces.
probing to find whatever treasure he could.
i wanted to take pic with phone, but he(i mean his finger) was out before i could.
then.
he did it.
yet again another nostalgic sight.
he put his index finger in his mouth.
i think he liked it's taste.
ah...sweet ignorant childhood where we'd choose that treasure in our nose over a PSP...
funny

this is totally irrelevant.
i aim to lead the roof by the time i am 18.
doesn't really seem possible...