Born in the wrong era? No. There is no wrong era.

live orchestra really IS good..
:)
finally watch PotO! nice. the atmosphere, the lighting, the sound quality, the costumes, the sets...
superb.
but the audience(namely me) was the greatest hinderance.
sometimes can't catch what they sing. sian, then meaning lost...
and...i must admit...the late nights...have caught up with me. aiyah. some of the slower parts or parts with soothing music...i was close to napping...
must prepare myself better next time!
as i've said. Les Miserables...when it comes, i will go. do or die, seats will be at least as good as today's. and must give standing ovation if is steady performance.(and shout 'encore')
some other musicals, maybe Joseph, or Evita will also go and see. but priority not so high.
can jio more people next time too, now that they have voiced their interest.
watching phantom...i think i can be phantom. so from now on, i will also respond to the name "phantom".
like phantom Teh for example. hehe.
i wore shirt and pants and shoes today...haha...so funny.
ok. it's decided, i will go film studies and work at esplanade next time... every night can watch musical one. stady!
but, alas, for now...
i need sleep. tmr is a short break from the hols.

syfc's staff and volunteer day.
very packed. started at 11.30, ended at 9 plus.
was a day well spent lah.
talked to some people that i've not talked to in a while, and also got to hear from Mr Albert Lee and Mr Christopher Tan.
also had sorta group discussion session with Mike Yong(like my friend lidat sia..)
all these lao jiang. wah.
come to respect them greatly. the kind of life that they live. a real testimony about God's goodness and grace. and how they are willing to give their lives up for God to use. by God's good pleasure, he chose them.
chance to reflect back on the past. how the work has developed over the years(50 for syfc).
think also about my involvement here. like a roller coaster ride from day one almost 5 years ago. a lot has happened in such a short span. almost like a dream.
and thinking back, i really give thanks. how i came to know this crazy bunch of people.
how purpose and truth entered my life. how i have come to learn about a God who IS THERE, abot what true love is, and to experience true friendship, and to be able to give true friendship. this is all just wonderful.

Thanks be to God.

but you know? as i sat among the staff and volunteers today, enjoying their company, learning from the bible, singing hymns, laughing and praying.
the thought that "someday this dream will end" always stayed in my mind. however much i enjoyed what was happening, it was not foreign to me that something better is in store for us, this is just a glimpse.

the best is yet to come.

when we all~~ get to heaven...

almost-forgotten-but-not file no. 3
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6/4/07

Good Friday.
slept only in the wee hours of the morning.
talked. played risk. watched shawshank.
woke up after a few hours of sleep to give james a ride to the expo(bike of course).
came back, woke up the rest and made our way down.
going to the expo, the speaker delivered a simple message,
and that was fine.
Good Friday isn't a very complicated event anyway.
met some people there too. some i didn't(but hoped to), but oh well.

that afternoon, we went to do st-e at plaza singapura.
it saddened me to see people give little thought to the Gospel(or life for that matter).
it saddened me even further(and also vexed me terribly) when it was the "christians" in the groups who were the ones least concerned about the whole matter of salvation.
the whole thing just frustrated me.
when people in general couldn't care less about life.
and when "christians" were among those people.

at night we played basketball.
too long never play liao. completely cannot make it.
we shared the basketball court with another group who wanted to play soccer.
in the end we took turns to play. as i watched them, i also felt like playing..
____________________________

"so he still speaks with his hands".
those were the words that went through my mind as i took a quick glance about him.
my gaze fell upon his shoes.
adidas.
kinda like the pair that he left me.
but unlike those he left me, on the sides of his soles were the words
"firefoot"
obviously written by him).
lol, so it hasn't left him, he still "tattoos" himself too, on his arm, in black ink, "TNF": golden rules of saftey in firing live rounds.

had dinner with bob and ettp yesterday at parkway.
met to talk and catch up.
enjoyed myself thoroughly. even when i was just listening, it was nice to hear how he's been doing recently. nice to see how he was.
pretty much still the same i guess.
ettp talked about his future plans in church and service(respected his focus and resolve to work something out). i generally just quietly sat by throughout, a few comments here and there, but apart from that, nothing else.

went to buy some stuff after that for home.
after our short shopping trip in parkway, ettp left us to go and do what he had to do...next day got outing and all.
with the two of us left to ourselves, we decided to go play LAN. more chance to talk anyway and that would be good. so we walked over to katong to play.
along the way talk, after playing talk.
heh. told him something that rocked his world(i think). and i was generous yesterday too, but that's cos it was him.
after lan, we agreed to meet up again soon(which happened to be today..but that another time)
think i'll be seeing him more often now..and maybe also... haha.

:)

not sure if i've wrote about this before, but anyway, been thinking abit about it recently.
over the years i've learnt to hide my feelings, or hide certain aspects of me, or choose to only show certain sides of me. act, or respond in a certian manner, sometimes one that is not true to my actual thoughts.
um, some people would call this wearing masks? ya. i think i do that.
then i was just thinking, so which is actually the real me?
maybe not as complicated as i think. quite simple actually.
what i am when i'm alone is me loh. and also all those different masks added together would make me too. as in, one face is one side, so add all together and you get the whole.
so then, who has seen me as i am? or who has seen me most as i am?
interestingly(actually this ought to be expexted loh...) enough, in terms of breadth(depth i don't know), i think the person who has seen more sides of me than anyone else is my brother.
seen me angry, seen me sad, seen me happy, seen me serious, seen me crazy, seen me collected, seen me humiliated...and so on and so forth.i don't know still got what. of course this is just in terms of seeing. many things he still doesn't understand about me(i can't, for the life of me, understand "why?" though....even after so long he still just doesn't get it).
even when people think they know me, very often, they only know a certain side of me. they've not seen me in certain 'modes'. but of course, this, i think, is equally true for mostly everyone else. how does someone behave when he is at home? around his parents? at school? among his friends? when he is shy? when he is angered? when he is hit? when he is alone?
hoho. it turns out that there is actually so much more to know about people than we usually think. we think we know a person, but the truth is, we only know how he is like when he is in such and such an environment. take him out and put him elsewhere and what do you get? a whole plethora of faces you never knew the person had!
that's why...never think you know a person well. not unless you've sufficiently spent enough time interacting with them, observing them, learning about them. if not, ho boy, don't get shocked when one day you meet someone you never knew existed before.

today had spa skill A for chem.
studied for it yesterday at eh.
then climbed after that. intended on coming home earlier.
but the wall wouldn't let me go...
(ya right. more like the other way round.)

good climbing yesterday. as in good training. my arms hurt now, which is a good thing. went laps first then after that tried to one-arm(which is very much harder now compared to before thanks to some crazy boy who changed the holds)
then there was a huge gang people who came, i think they were from bedok lutheran, well, added life to the place.
john and dong climbed too. heh, haen't seen the boy in a while. good that he's still around. and yesterday, while i was working, turtle came into office and had this cool box in his hand. it looked vaguely familiar.
turtle bought new shoes!
ahhh...the fresh smell of climbing rubber. hehe, mine?
old and under-used.
remember how i got it many many years ago when i was intent on becoming serious. in the end not realised. that's why can last me so long...by right supposed to retire liao.
anyway, i think they won't last for too much longer lah. then can finally go and shop for some new shoes! now cheaper than last time somemore...
also considering getting a harness too, don't want to keep using those at eh, but i think i should wait. will be more under-used than my shoes. but think someday i'll get my own.
wah talk like i alot of money lidat...BO LUI LAH.
stick to cheapo, puristic climbing for now.
today got 2 cool stuff from pei yun!
ehhh a bent-gate carabiner and a pusik chord!
both retiring so she asked me if i want and i said YES PLEASE!
now i got a uber stylo key chain and a...uh...fancy string thing(i'll find some use for it eventually)
heh. happy day. and the climbing yesterday too.
oh and spa huh? um i think i did ok lah.
2 more days to the end of the week.
WOOHOO!

almost-forgotten-but-not file no.2

____________________________
7/4/07

it's been about a year.
and so,
how much progress has been made during this time?
in my opinion...like not alot.
so one year later and we're back. only, this time it's different.
slightly different.
things are more positive, and it surely isn't because of me(i don't think so anyway).
i need a kick in the head. and that isn't the sad thing.
the sad thing is i KNOW i need a kick in the head.
and my feet can't reach my head.
still, if discipline doesn't come from within, it's gonna come from without. or it won't come.
and i'd still be sleeping.
____________________________

bee ngoh reminded me just now to be appreciative. to really be grateful.
Thanks.
but most of all
Thanks be to God.
you'd have it no other way hor?

i heard some richard clayderman(think spell wrong...) song in skool today and the song remained in my head for the rest of the day.
came home and i asked me brother to play it(i knew he knew how).
he said no.
sian. still, i wanted to hear, so i made him an offer.
i suggested that we play scissors paper stone.
the wager was 5 miuntes of the song if i won or 5 minutes of back massage if he won.
this, i have come to realise, was a very foolish thing to do.
and i am a fool.
we played, he won(first to five), was merciful, but won again(got six while i had three).
in the end my kind brother still played the song for me while i lied down on the cool marble floor.
i returned the favour by TRYING to massage his back. gave him about 7 minutes though.
the whole thing was just hilarious.
and this also further revealed my deficiency in sps...
i think war-time confirm die early...

gp: my favorite lesson in skool.
then came along lit.
waha. lit rocks. so interesting. wonder if there's a subject that merges the two, that would be....keewwwll.
anyway, today during lit, me and wilbeeeee made a discovery!
what was at first just mere thoughtless banter suddenly struck us as very a probable truth.
get this:
othello greatly influenced star wars!
just think,
othello start out good, anakin starts out good.
othello turns out 'bad, anakin becomes vader.
their badness was spurred on by people they trusted greatly( o:iago. sw:palpatine)
they were led to believe something was going on between their wives and their close friends( des and cass, padame and obi wan)
the wives die eventually.
everything turns out bad( a tragedy)
cool eh?
so lucas copied star wars...what a discovery...

the wait has ended! the package arrived today! :)
got me mgs 1&2 ost's from gk world! hehe. it's been at least 4 long weeks of waiting since it was ordered.
only thing is...fatty was the one who discovered it. sian. wanted to come home in anticipation, find a package on the table and rush over to take it.
he had the privilege of experiencing that... in the end let him cut open the box also.
but that's ok. went up to my room, opened it up to examine and everything...and then...played it.

ahhh music to my ears. read, and finished, the rest of 'til we have faces' while listening to the cd's. on the whole, it was a nice read. sometimes, it's almost as though he's writing poetry in prose or something like that. the only problem i had with the book was that at some parts, the story was unbearable...too ughh...wished those parts would end faster. like when orual 'confronted' psyche and stabbed her arm that part...couldn't tahan(problem is me lah. if i feel like that means the man did a splendid job). but of course there were also parts that kept me glued to the book(the happier sections generally, or those bits that had some mystical revelation about them). i particularly liked to imagine how that prince fella was slain by the queen. cool.

sat i bought 2 more books. arrrr more money out of my pocket! but i couldn't resist. saw the titles(and the thickness(thinness actually)), stuff i've been interested in for quite a while(and i neglected the price tag) and i rarely saw them too, so buy loh. i have decided that there is an order in which i shall read them, but first i need to get my hands on "through the shadowlands". now all i got is some screen adaptaion, which i will probably read instead seeing how "tts" is quite unobtainable (at least, i haven't any cheapo ways to acquire it). oh well then..

today it rained quite heavily.
which is good. =D
it also reminded me, as i looked out the window during physics pratical trial, that i've not played in the rain for quite a while liao. remember how i used to try and get sick(obviously to miss school) by playing in the rain when it was a heavy downpour. how i'd go down to the playground and jump about in the rain(i'd be the only one there though, unless the ball came along) and play on the especially-slippery-slide and just do all sorts of nonsense.
think i should play in the rain someday. take a bike and cycle around. get off and jump up and down. step in the drains with their rapid water flow. maybe run around in a field and get muddy(wah this really never do for how long...). all i need is a day with heavy rain, and some spare time. that'll do fine.

just showed the ball some videos of metal gear solid on youtube. he says he should play it someday. watching those scenes again, i've decided that within this year, i'll borrow the ps from james and cheong through the game in one sitting. just wait for it!

i want to eat subway. but i want to save money. so i will make a sandwich instead.

relationships = welcome to a world of hurt.
no rush.

lit is the only subject you can spend an entire period just watching movie and say you are having 'lessons'.

shawshank.

"2 more periods..."

"zzzzz...."

i guess all in all i'm a rather simple boy huh?
now it's off to EH for the Plan.

mr lim was a knockout today.
totally left the entire LT in an uproar of laughter. haha, and imagine that, jokes(funny ones, mind you) during a lecture on quantum physics.

on the other end of the spectrum tho, you have mr whatshisname.
the chem lecturer who's teaching us electrochemistry and who speaks in monotone.
his monotony is...impressive. i'm amazed how he doesn't put HIMSELF to sleep.
if i were him, maybe if i'm tired i'd just talk to myself. that would be rather cool...hehe

i figured that there wouldn't be P.E today.
there wasn't.
so i was glad when i decided earlier not to bring P.E. attire.
but. got jioed to play soccer instead. -_-
and i did. -_-
haii(can't resist the desire to kick), had to borrow p.e. shorts from edward and his so BAGGY!
then wore my inside shirt to play loh.
sian. played ok, but after that, when i realised my folly, it was too late.
shirt was soaked and i had nothing to wear inside(my first time in how long man).
anyway, i wanted to dry my shirt, so after lit, i did, for the first time in a long while, bob's common practice of washing the shirt in a sink and then drying it.
i left it on a chair in class under the fan. left it there for the whole day.
came back and it was dry!
think i'll do this on all p.e. days from now on too.

enough about school. tomorrow is climb! hope they got the screws(but i think they haven't) so can finish some stuff.
now i shall watch shawshank.

almost-forgotten-but-not file no. 1

____________________________
030407

this was the first time(and maybe the last) i received a hair cut from two pairs of unskilled hands at the same time.
obviously i looked funny(i naturally do i think), but that didn't bother me as much as it did others. i think primarily the issue was with the uneveness. i thought i looked like hidetoshi nakata at first, but after my mom cleaned up the cut(eventually), i thought i looked more like sakuragi hanamichi(after his hair cut, of course).
mixed comments tho.
my classmates said it looked ok(some even said nicer. lol), ms lee was appalled by it, my mom said it was "not bad for beginners".
haiii at the end of the day, why all this fuss over just some hair?
will grow back eventually ah. so, i've decided. i think.
dong's gonna give me a cut next time. and it's also open to whoever else is interested to relieve some stress or exact their silly revenge on me for some trivial offence i've committed in the past.

went to climb before the hair cut. came back with a smelly head. told to wash my hair.
fun time climbing cos keith went down that day. set some new routes and stuff. his last climb there before he goes in... :(
hsing joo and lydia were there too, they starting their level 1&2 course in the following week so they prolly go and get some practice first(aahhh wish i could go! but i CAN'T! stuck at level 0 and still studying...).
lydia's first time climbing..(what has she been doing all this time in sr?!). hsing joo deprove after not climbing for so long i think(and she also got extra luggage this time...i flew when i belayed her during her descent :x), but still can climb lah. didn't really see her exert herself tho, she spent more time trying to help lydia(who was facing quite a bit of difficulty) while i was busy doing routes with keithman. oh well next time then...

____________________________

gonna be climbing a bit mroe regularly from now on tho, thanks to the Plan..

had my napfa test today. i hope i got gold. now i'm sticky all over...
when i go army i want to get gold so i can get that extra 100 bucks.
how cool is that, exercise for money...oops, it just dawned on me that the government's ploy is working. keep otherwise-lazy soldiers fit by giveing them money...
we are so dumb. but that won't change anything. i still want the money.

it's good-bye-buddy week. most of my chums are going to Serve the Nation this week.
i.e. hair fall, say vow, sell your soul, dignity, and sanity.
lol, no lah. but after they say the vow thing, they will officially be declared "Lowest form of Life".
dun scared my comrades, i will join you soon. just a while more.. a while more..

yesterday was byebye to phua. today he went in, so i met him for dinner yesterday and we chatted as usual and...and...and...
and....HE PASSED ME HIS PSP!
for keeps.
haha, no lah, just for safe keeping.
he says i can buy games if i want. he'd rather download tho...that pirate.
just looked through some reviews of games online. got a list of some games to buy...if i ever do. apparently can also download ps games and play on emulator in the psp.
which means....MGS and the like!
but according to calvin, phua's version not the correct one to play downloaded ps games. :(
lousy lah you. why your version c.m.i. one...
ah, anyway, just chat with him yesterday and got to see his shaved head! heh enjoy yourself my friend.(smsed him some rubbish around the time he was going in)

today was byebye to cham cham.
so just now after skool met him at TM to go and gaigai and eat and just talk rubbish.
no psp from him, but that's ok. he bought me ljs combo 1 which is good too. :D
he dun wan to cut his hair! sian. he say let army cut for him. aiyah next time then see la.
also went to buy ticks to PotO. blew a hole in my pocket....ah think i better get used to the taste of grass.
then went to the game shop and comic shop just to see see.
he going in tomorrow. will sms him too. wahaha.
i like talking rubbish with him. and he likes alot of the things i like too so we click well. haha.
you also enjoy yourself ok!?

i can't wait....

ARRRR
WHY IS IT NOT HERE YET?!?!?!!?
been waiting for weeks and weeks liao.
ok maybe not so long. 3 weeks maybe?
patience ernest. soon soon soon.

got the new one piece book. book 45!
yay! revelations and more revelations...
think this is one of the reasons for my slightly-higher-than-usual-spirit-although-it-may-still-seem-quite-low-but-it's-actually-not.
i've said it before.
i'll say it again.
ODA IS A GENIUS.
luffy and his grandpa are about to fight.
and then they both fall asleep. LOL.
luffy's new bounty is 300,000,000 beri. chopper just got his bounty. 50 beri(for being a 'pet') HILARIOUS.
and sanji's cheapo sketch for a bounty....wah laugh like crazy.

think luffy's relax attitude has rubbed off, or at least reinforced, my own senang pace of life.
can think of some anime characters that are also super senang one...prolly influenced me in one way or another too. sakuragi, yoh, gon, fusuke, shikamaru...all happy-go-lucky-take-it-easy guys...
my ideal state....
yess it is good to smell the flowers.
sometimes we are too kan cheong liao. all singapore's fault(will i get banned for this? but lky seems like a rather my pace guy leh...maybe he's just old)
my scholls are good. i can't walk fast in them, it gets pretty uncomfortable.
so i'm forced to slow down! need to relax man...i think everyone should get a pair(will they endorse me for this?)
of course that is not to say we be happy and miss all our appointments
just that need to learn to slow down...

and so it hath begun.
started a bit on the Plan.
now is apil. a level in november.
7 months.
there is a glimmer of hope...

forgot my wallet today, so had to borrow money to take train and bus to skool.
survived on 2 packets of cheezels from the $1 refund until 4.
but anyhow. quite a happy day.
finished homework!
climbed!
just did boulder laps today. but still very tiring. more or less alone the whole time. just me and the wall..

feeling sleepy now.

wah! it's been so long!
so many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many things have happened since the last entry!
haiii
wish i wrote it all down. i think i wanted to then.
but been kinda busy lately?
i don't know. either i got too many things to write and then i feel too tired to write so i sleep.
or i too tired to write so i sleep.
or i too tired so i sleep.
i think! i shall write down some of the thoughts that have been going through my head?!
or!
maybe i just write whatever i feel like writing!
right....
these shall be called the almost-forgotten-but-not files....

anyway, for today,
i just watched freedom writers!
wah...very moving. confirm got a lot of ppl cry.
and then there are those who sleep...
how to sleep! haha. cannot comprehend.
show is not bad. maybe i'll read the book someday.
told ms lee i give it 7 out of 10 popcorns...which led me to think about which are the shows that i will give 9..but that another time.

alot of ppl went today.
saw with ms lee(who needed the "inspiration"), dong(who actully wanted to watch shooter more, but i think he liked it anyway), chang loong(who won't even consider blades of glory. ever. i hope.), lailing(who was as eager to watch as ms lee), linda sim(who came late), ren hua(who came later), miss liew(who still can't talk), lydia lee(who still can talk) and tan(who still has orh cheh toes), hsing joo(with her good buddy), pei chin(who got baptised yesterday), miss puah(who thought she wore the same shirt as lydia lee), and miss tai(who paid for the tickets).
i owe little miss quiet $10.
which is just the first scoop of the big hole that will soon be my pocket.
finalizing plans to buy tickets to PotO.
would have bought just now but sistic at tm was closed liao. oh well tmr or wed then.
told ks tay i'd buy the VIP box seats...wahaha. am i serious or am i not?
wait and see how lah.

tomorrow!
can climb! hopefully can screw in the holds too! just need to get the screws...
and also...going to get the Plan.(more on this in the almost-forgotten-but-not files....)
for now...i need to go toilet.

major accident today in school.
left me rather fed up for most of the morning.
yet in the end, all things from the past worked out for the situation to be brought under control for today...
very very dangerous...