Born in the wrong era? No. There is no wrong era.

yes, you've read right.
here's a completely random but largely useful post on
how to soap up a sponge!
sponge as in kitchen or bathroom sponge la. i dunno what other sponge there is to soap up.
spongebob squarepants does not exist.
so there's obviously no reason to even consider him in the following procedure.
now, to the content proper.

____How To Soap Up A Sponge_____

1. Pick up sponge using dominant hand.
(a large portion of the earth's population is right-handed, so this would generally mean your right hand for most readers. of course there exists that 'other' bunch of queer folk who use their left hand more than their right. if you beling to that group then your left hand would be your dominant hand.)

2. Soak once with water.

3. Squeeze sponge until half its maximum water retention capacity.
(ensure the exactitudivity of this value using avogadro's number, le chatelier's principle, the ideal gas law, the boltzman constant, and the heisenberg position-time and momentum-energy uncertainty principle, along with all the fancy equipement you'd usually find in a chem lab at skool. correct to two decimal places, thank you very much.)
(don't be crazy)
(agaration is the way to go la. obviously)

4. Apply liquid soap(the clone of solid soap. haha!) on the sponge.
(quantity should be one tenth the volume of the maximum water retention capacity. once again agaration is the way to go. obviously)

5. Give the soap 5 seconds to seep into the sponge.

6. Give the sponge 4 quick half aqueezes.

7. Soak up the remaining half of the maximum water retention capacity.

8. Give the sponge 3 quick half aqueezes.

9. SOAP AWAY!

and thus concludes the procedure to have a well soaped sponge