Born in the wrong era? No. There is no wrong era.

i should start writing more
sometimes i will think to myself that i should write more.
but i never come around to it.
kind of lost the drive to write.
hmm
i think maybe i know why. but that's not important?
kind of lost the drive to do alot of things.
everything seems very surreal sometimes.
like i'm just floating from day to day.
the other day ong ask me what's up with me.
i think all along i'm kinda alone
ppl think that something is wrong when i'm quiet.
i think actually that in truth that's kind of how things really are?
that when i'm talking nonsense and being rubbishy it's more in the spur of things and not really me.
i remember considering what i'm really like before.
that time i say that the many parts make up the whole
but i think the majority of the the parts is the quiet guy who'd like to just talk to someone who felt like talking too.
relationships are a two way thing and sometimes i feel ppl are superficial
so i dun really try to engage them
but i guess it's my fault too for not taking the step to talk to others
but sometimes i get the thought like i just cant be bothered that much beyond a generic point.
i don't know how long i'm gonna remain floating.
hate this feeling.
the best times are when i'm distracted.
that's what uni is for.
for distractions.
distract me from the void that i dread.
anything that distracts me is most welcome.
how far would a person go if he really cared?
all the way i guess?
i don't know.
sometimes i am hesitant to answer people straight because i dunno how much they really wish to know.
what if u knew how i really felt?
what would u do?
if "nothing" is the answer then i'd much rather not answer ur question.
all the more so if the answer made u feel bad and didn't result in anything too.
worse if u couldn't even be bothered to hear the answer or remember the question.
i swing to the bitter side of things and i sometimes try to remind myself that it need not be the case that things only exist as sweet or bitter.
haiz.
sianz.